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An accurate description of the important events of September 13.

One.

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Britney Spears and Sam Asghari are getting married! He proposed with a 4-carat diamond ring, as one does when you want a millionaire to say yes to your proposal. 

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Two.

The internet can’t stop talking about Megan Fox’s VMAs red-carpet look. It’s like they’ve never seen a mother-of-three with a flawless body walking in public in a see-through dress and a tiny, sparkly thong.

Three.

Jennifer Aniston finally addressed David Schwimmer romance rumors. “That’s my brother,” she said. So, it’s still a mystery.

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Four.

Kylie Jenner says she’s “so sad” she won’t be able to attend the Met Gala this year because she is tired and doesn’t want to go. 

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Five. 

Kanye West has unfollowed Kim Kardashian on Instagram. Kim is reportedly feeling shocked about something completely unrelated because, honestly, she has not even noticed.

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Six.

After 5 years of dating and a child together, Danny Fujikawa proposed to Kate Hudson, in what she lovingly describes as a “completely expected, overdue, can’t-believe-it-took-him-so long, move”.

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