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It’s been almost a month since Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have been living their best life in Vancouver, Canada. I was invited to their $11 million dollar mansion to talk about what life has been like since they moved to the land of maple syrup and freezing cold winters.

Bea: Hi guys. Thanks for doing this with me. 

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Meghan: Of course.

Harry: No problem.

Bea: Are you aware there are three guys looking in through your window? 

Meghan: Oh yeah. Paparazzi. They’ve been there all week.

Bea: It doesn’t bother you?

Meghan: Kind of. I think one of them froze to death. His face turned blue yesterday and he hasn’t moved since then. 

Harry: Nah. I saw him blink just an hour ago.

Bea: Oh, thank god! 

*Harry’s butler brings us tea*

Bea: Is this what you’ve been up to since you left England—drinking tea and chilling?

Harry: Pretty much.

Meghan: We’ve also been doing a lot of yoga. 

Harry: It’s not easy.

Meghan to Harry: It’s not easy because you insist on wearing jeans when we do it! 

Harry to Meghan: I refuse to wear yoga pants in front of our security team.

Bea: Speaking of your security team… can you please ask this gentleman to stop breathing so close to my tea? It’s grossing me out. 

Harry: Thomas, it’s okay, you don’t have to stand so close to her.

Bea: Thanks. Can I get a new tea?

*Harry’s butler brings me another cup of tea*

Bea: I heard that you’re thinking of moving to Los Angeles. 

Meghan: Yes, well, my mom lives there so I think it’s important that we have a house there as well as in Canada and the UK. 

Bea: I’m sorry but this guy is breathing really close to my tea again. Maybe he would like to have his own tea?

Harry: He’s not really allowed.

Bea: Gotcha. 

*Silence*

Bea: So what’s next for you guys, what’s the plan?

Harry: Well, it’s complicated. We’re not—

Bea: STEP AWAY FROM MY TEA, MAN. I WILL CUT YA. 

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