I ran into Seth Rogen in the unisex bathroom of a fancy restaurant. At first I thought he was stoned but he explained he was simply tired. I didn’t ask. He just told me. And that he’d been up all night.
I liked that he was being friendly so I shared that I was there by myself. I wasn’t, but I wanted to ask if I could join his table and thought I had better chances of him saying yes if he thought I was alone. I don’t know if he didn’t hear me or he just chose to ignore me, but he said nothing.
Lucky for him, I don’t give up easily so I asked the host to sit me and Lucas–my date for the night and boyfriend– at the table next to Seth’s. After I slipped her a $100 dollar bill… and then another, and then another, she made it happen. Money may not buy happiness, but it sure gets you closer to Seth Rogen.
Once seated, I kept my cool. For the first 4 minutes, I only talked to Lucas. But by minute five, I pretended to cough so hard that it forced Seth to look at me. Granted, he was a bit grossed out, but I had his attention.
Seth: Are you okay…?
I “coughed” again.
Seth: Here. Drink some water.
Seth passed me his own glass. No way was I gonna put my lips on someone else’s drink. Has he not heard we are in the middle of a pandemic??
Bea: Eww, no thanks.
Seth: Are you sure?
Bea: 100 percent. I’m Bea, by the way. And this is my boyfriend Lucas.
Seth: I’m Seth. This is my mom, Sandy.
Like I didn’t know…. I just paid 300 dollars to sit at the table next to him.
Bea: Nice to meet you both.
Seth: Well, enjoy your—
Bea: I read the comments you made online last night, about the Black Lives Matter movement.
Seth: Please do not tell me you found that controversial because I will lose it. Let ME and MY MOTHER eat in peace. We are human beings and deserve that much!
Bea: I was gonna say I admire people like you, who have a big platform and are, in your own way, trying to educate people. Especially as a white man. It’s about time white dudes speak up against the horrors the black community faces every day. That’s how change happens. We all need to do the same.
Seth: Oh.
Bea: [Silence]
Seth: Uhm… yeah.
Bea: But I do hope you feel a little bit like an ass for yelling at me just now.
Seth: [laughs]
Holy Moses, I made Seth Rogen laugh.
Bea: If it’s okay with you, I’d like to pay for you and your mom’s meal today.
Seth: Really?
Bea: No. I was actually hoping you’d pay for mine.
That’s the last thing I said to Seth. He did not pay for my meal. I definitely did not pay for his. I went home significantly poorer. What a day.
Read more interviews by Bea:
—Nick Jonas Admits He Hates the New ‘Skill’ Priyanka Chopra Learned During Quarantine
—Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas Can’t Stop Touching Each Other and It’s Grossing People Out
—Orlando Bloom Admits He’s Having Problems with Katy Perry While She’s Pregnant with Their Baby
