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Weekly Diary #5: Week of August 24th to August 30rd, 2020.

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ONE.

Brad Pitt has a new girlfriend. It’s been reported that after his divorce from, first Jennifer Aniston, and then Angelina Jolie, he considered dating another accomplished woman his own age but then he thought ‘bah, cliches are cliches for a reason’ and went for the 26-year-old model with a seductive pout instead. 

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TWO.

Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom named their newborn baby ‘Daisy Dove Bloom’ because Katy won the naming battle. She wanted their daughter to have an original name, and she loves daisies and animals so ‘Daisy Dove’ made sense. Orlando is more traditional and really likes chocolate so he was pushing for ‘Ferrero Rocher’.

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THREE.

Pregnant Chrissy Teigen says her “tongue is falling off” after eating too much sour candy almost every night. That’s because mother nature is wise and always finds a way to even things out: if a part of the body is growing, another part must disintegrate slowly and disgustingly.

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FOUR.

It was Blake Lively’s 33rd birthday this week and she received a lot of presents: a birthday cake from her husband, a homemade McMuffin from her kids, birthday cake popsicles from Laboratorio del Gelato, and Laduree macarons sent from her friends Samantha and Justin. Are you telling me Blake has rich friends and family and I still got better presents than she did on my birthday?

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FIVE.

One Direction Liam Payne and his girlfriend Maya Henry are getting married (!!) Probably. Maya was seen wearing an engagement ring, that could be just a ring, but for now it’s not clear. And although it is unknown who gave it to her, it was probably Liam, her boyfriend of two years. So there you have it, she’s probably pregnant.

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SIX.

Melania Trump went viral after making ‘a face’ at Ivanka Trump during the last night of the Republican National Convention. I personally don’t get why that’s odd or funny. Now, if Melania had been seen hysterically laughing at something Ivanka said… that stuff’s newsworthy.

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SEVEN.

Prince William and Prince Harry issued a joint statement about their plans to honor their mom, Princess Diana, by building a statue in the garden of Kensington Palace. This ideally will help people reflect on her life, but mostly it will serve as a new spot for beautiful doves and, or, pigeons to stand and poop on. Wherever she is, Diana most be pretty proud right now.

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Read more from Mock Diaries:

—Previous Weekly Diary: Week of August 17th to August 23rd.

—Katy Perry Shared the Text Messages She Received From Her Famous Friends After Giving Birth

—Interview: Jennifer Lawrence Opens up About Her Marriage to Cooke Maroney and Spending Their First Six Months as Newlyweds in Lockdown

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