Interview: Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston Discuss the Possibility of Getting Back Together

The whole world is talking about Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston after seeing the two exes interact when they ran into each other at the SAG Awards on Sunday. After the award show, I asked them both if we could go somewhere quiet to sit down and talk about what is really going on between them. No one was more shocked than me when they agreed.

Bea: Hi guys. Thank you for agreeing to do this with me.

Jennifer: Of course.

Brad: No problem.

Bea: I don’t know if you know, but the whole world is talking about you two. They want to see you getting back together. 

Brad: *laughing* That’s ridiculous.

Jennifer: *laughing* It’s insane!

Bea: I know. Like who gives a fuck? You’re not that relevant anymore. 

Jennifer: *stops laughing* 

Bea: Okay, let’s all try to be extra honest for a second… Jennifer, if Brad asked, would you give him a little peck on the lips? Just a little innocent peck. 

Jennifer: Sure.

Bea: Brad, if Jennifer asked, would you suck my toes?

Brad: What? No. Absolutely not.

Bea: Not even if Jennifer asked?!

Brad: Why would she ask?!!

Bea: ‘Cause she’s nice!

Jennifer: I am pretty nice.

Bea: Jennifer, have you forgiven Brad for everything that happened between you in the past?

Jennifer: *sighs* Yes. It was a long time ago. We’re fine now.  

Brad: *to Jennifer* Really?

Jennifer: *to Brad* Yeah. 

Bea: Is it fair to say that you still have feelings for each other?

Jennifer: Yeah…

Brad: Oh yeah…

Bea: Is it also fair to say, Brad, that you and I have a lot of sexual tension between us?

Brad: Again with this bullshit. No. I don’t feel anything for you. 

Bea: ALRIGHT. I was just checking!!

Brad: *sighs*

Bea: Is there maybe a small chance that you two will be willing to give your relationship another try?

Jennifer: *Silence*

Brad: *Silence*

Jennifer: I mean….

Brad: I think…

Jennifer: … Brad left me for another woman, had not one, not two, but SIX kids with her, ended up divorcing her and becoming an alcoholic… why on earth would you suggest I deserve that? 

Brad: *Silence*

Bea: *Silence*

Jennifer: *Silence*

Brad: Just so we’re all on the same page… that’s a no?