It’s been almost a month since Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have been living their best life in Vancouver, Canada. I was invited to their $11 million dollar mansion to talk about what life has been like since they moved to the land of maple syrup and freezing cold winters.
Bea: Hi guys. Thanks for doing this with me.
Meghan: Of course.
Harry: No problem.
Bea: Are you aware there are three guys looking in through your window?
Meghan: Oh yeah. Paparazzi. They’ve been there all week.
Bea: It doesn’t bother you?
Meghan: Kind of. I think one of them froze to death. His face turned blue yesterday and he hasn’t moved since then.
Harry: Nah. I saw him blink just an hour ago.
Bea: Oh, thank god!
*Harry’s butler brings us tea*
Bea: Is this what you’ve been up to since you left England—drinking tea and chilling?
Harry: Pretty much.
Meghan: We’ve also been doing a lot of yoga.
Harry: It’s not easy.
Meghan to Harry: It’s not easy because you insist on wearing jeans when we do it!
Harry to Meghan: I refuse to wear yoga pants in front of our security team.
Bea: Speaking of your security team… can you please ask this gentleman to stop breathing so close to my tea? It’s grossing me out.
Harry: Thomas, it’s okay, you don’t have to stand so close to her.
Bea: Thanks. Can I get a new tea?
*Harry’s butler brings me another cup of tea*
Bea: I heard that you’re thinking of moving to Los Angeles.
Meghan: Yes, well, my mom lives there so I think it’s important that we have a house there as well as in Canada and the UK.
Bea: I’m sorry but this guy is breathing really close to my tea again. Maybe he would like to have his own tea?
Harry: He’s not really allowed.
Bea: Gotcha.
*Silence*
Bea: So what’s next for you guys, what’s the plan?
Harry: Well, it’s complicated. We’re not—
Bea: STEP AWAY FROM MY TEA, MAN. I WILL CUT YA.
