Kourtney Kardashian has been making headlines lately after rumors started that she’s no longer single. As the serious journalist I am, I got myself an interview with the reality star to get to the bottom of things. We met up for a quick chat… quicker than I had anticipated. I had more alone time with her assistant. Anyway, this is everything that we talked about:
Adler: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Kourtney.
Kourtney: Thank you. You too.
Adler: Listen… it was recently brought to my attention… by your assistant [gives the assistant a mean look]…. that you don’t actually follow me on Twitter….
Kourtney: [silence]
Adler: But I kept trying to explain to her… that YOU DO.
[Adler takes out his phone]
Adler: I obviously have a screenshot of when you first started following me… See?
[Adler shows Kourtney his phone]
Adler: And you’ll be thrilled to know that everyone in my family, as well as close friends, and complete randos that I’ve encountered every single day since…. know that you are my fan on Twitter.
Kourtney: I mean… maybe by mistake…. I don’t know… [looks closely at the screenshot] That’s not me… My account is verified…. that’s a fan account that follows you.
Adler: What? No! This isn’t your real account?!
[Adler takes his phone back]
Adler: Well, let’s not panic… now we know… and you can follow me with your verified account at @adler367761.
[Adler waits for Kourtney to get her phone out and give him a follow…]
Adler: Or you can do it later… that works too.
Kourtney: [silence]
Adler: So why don’t you tell me what’s going on in your life right now?
Kourtney: Well, I’ve actually just released new POOSH products that are amazing for the skin…
Adler: Oh, no thanks. My skincare routine is already pretty solid…
Kourtney: Well, you should still try our new products. They’ll make your skin feel really smooth…
Adler: Fine. Send them to me, I’ll try them… or I might just give them to my friend, Jack. I owe him money.
Kourtney: You can actually buy them on the website…
Adler: No, it’s okay, just send them to me.
Kourtney: [chuckles]
Adler: Anyway, what’s going on between you and Travis Barker? Are you two really dating or is mainstream media lying to all of us again?
Kourtney: Yes… we are together. [laughs]
Adler: Really…? But you’ve been friends for years…. What made you go from “he’s just my friend” to “I wonder what the roof of his mouth feels like with my tongue?”
Kourtney: [laughs] Well… I’ve never really wondered that specifically… but I guess it all comes down to timing.
Adler: Ok. Makes sense…. You two are more mature now and you’re both single and there’s really not a lot of options during the pandemic.
Kourtney: He’s also really sweet and an amazing dad to his kids…
Adler: Sure… that too.
[Silence]
Adler: Listen, I know that your assistant is signaling that it’s time for you to go…
Kourtney: Yeah, we really need to get out of here before—
Adler: Okay, but if I may just say one last thing, don’t forget to follow me on Twitter…. Again, my handle is really easy to remember, it’s @adler367761.
[Kourtney gets up and starts gathering her stuff]
Adler: And don’t worry… I will also give you a follow.
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