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When news broke that Keanu Reeves was on the red carpet of the Los Angeles County Museum of Art’s Film + Art Festival holding hands with a woman, the entire world freaked out. Keanu hadn’t been seen with a date for years, and he usually prefers to keep his personal life private, so everyone knew this PDA meant something special.

Luckily, I was able to talk to Keanu about what this new relationship means to him. Read how my conversation with him went down, below:

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Bea: Hi Keanu. Thanks for agreeing to meet me.

Keanu: No problem.

Bea: Can I call you Kea? 

Keanu: No.

Bea: Okay. Next question then. Why not?

Keanu: That’s not my name. 

Bea: Alright. I heard you the first time.

No response. Kea looks upset.

Bea: I heard you have a new lady. Tell me about her.

Keanu: She’s not new.

Bea: I know she’s old. I mean it’s a new relationship.

Keanu: She’s not old. She’s 10 years younger than me. 

Bea: For real? 

Keanu: Yeah.

Bea: Fuck. She looks old.  

Keanu: Excuse me?? You’re being very disrespectful.

Bea: Older. I meant to say she looks oldER.

Keanu: This interview is over.

Kea gets up and walks towards the door

Bea: Wait. Why?

Kea does not respond. I hope he’s not upset.

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