Selena Gomez is getting candid about her love life, or lack thereof. She sat down with me to talk about her fears of not finding a suitable male companion and what it’s been like to be single these past two years.
Bea: Hi Selena. Thanks for doing this with me.
Selena: My pleasure.
Bea: I loved your last album. It deserves an award, it’s spectacular.
Selena: Thank you! Thank you so much for saying that.
Bea: I don’t have a ton of time so let’s get this over with quickly.
Selena: Oh okay.
Bea: I need to go buy dish soap.
Selena: Can’t you buy it another time?
Bea: I can, but why wait?
Selena: [Silence]
Bea: I’ve heard that you’ve been complaining about being single.
Selena: It’s a bit scary sometimes… I don’t want to be alone forever. But I’m not too worried.
Bea: You’re not?
Selena: No no. You know what people say, ‘there’s plenty of fish in the sea.’
Bea: What people don’t say is that most of the fish left are ugly, or racist, or weird.
Selena: Uh…
Bea: Are you on Tinder?
Selena: No no.
Bea: Good. People on Tinder are psychopaths.
Selena: Yeah?
Bea: I met my boyfriend on Tinder. He’s not a psychopath, fortunately.
Selena: That’s… that’s good.
Bea: Yeah. I’m lucky.
Selena: [Silence]
Bea: I can introduce you to my coworker, if you want. He’s also single.
Selena: That’s okay.
Bea: He falls asleep at work sometimes but besides that, he’s pretty average.
Selena: I’m okay, really.
Bea: Email me if you change your mind.
Selena: [Silence]
Bea: Don’t wait too long though. Mediocre guys like him get off the market quickly.
More Hilarious Interviews:
—Sophie Turner Opens Up About Her Pregnancy and How Joe is Handling Things
—Kate Middleton Talks About What Her Life Has Been Like Since Harry and Meghan Moved to Canada
