It’s been a while since Nick Jonas has been seen out and about. Since the pandemic started in March, the singer has kept a very low profile. Lucky for me and all of his fans, he agreed to have a quick chat over Zoom. My name is Justin Adler, and here’s my conversation with the best looking Jonas:
Adler: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Nicholas.
Nick: Yeah, same.
Adler: Though I feel like I know you already… people mistake me for you all the time.
Nick: [laughs] Yeah?
Adler: It’s probably the hair… we both have baby soft hair… and a strong jawline… And of course we’re both incredibly attractive…
Nick: [laughs] right.
Adler: So I can’t blame the ladies… it’s not their fault…. But it’s also not my fault that they make a mistake. Some even cry, you know?… When they realize I’m not actually you… And somehow I’m the insensitive one because I don’t care that they’re snorting in front of me and walk away…
Nick: They really cry?
Adler: … But I don’t know these ladies… and I’m usually on my way to places. I don’t have time to calm a stranger down. Call a friend for that. Call your mother. Better yet, call a shrink.
Nick: What can I say? I have the best, most loyal fans…and I’m grateful for every single one of them.
Adler: They can’t even recognize you in public properly.
Nick: [laughs]
Adler: Anyway, how’s it going? How’s Priyanka?
Nick: She’s good. We are both good… neither one of us has been out much because of the pandemic…
Adler: Is this the longest time you’ve spent together… in the same house… displaying all of your flaws and imperfections to each other day-and-night?
Nick: [laughs] Absolutely. But you know what? We really like each other… like, we don’t just love each other… we—
Adler: My mother always says that love fades after smelling the 10,000 fart from your spouse…
Nick: [laughs super hard] I hope that’s not true.
Adler: It’s definitely not true. My dad passed the 10,000 fart mark after their first two weeks of marriage and they’re still together. [pauses] Though she doesn’t always like him very much.
Nick: [laughs]
Adler: Your older brother, Joe, just had a baby, Willow… [checks notes] Willa Jonas. Did he consult you before deciding to become a father?
Nick: N….. no. He didn’t need to… he’s kind of his own man when it comes to procreating with his wife.
Adler: Is that common in your family?
Nick: [laughs] Pretty much.
Adler: Have you gone over to their place to meet the baby? Or have they visited you with the baby? Let me rephrase that. Have you met the baby?
Nick: Yes. Pri and I went over to their place about two weeks after they were back from the hospital.
Adler: Two weeks?!
Nick: Yeah… we were being cautious because of Covid …
[Silence]
Adler: Well, thanks for talking to me, Nicholas. It’s always a pleasure to talk to someone who looks so much like me. Take care.
[Adler goes offline].
.
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