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It’s been a while since Nick Jonas has been seen out and about. Since the pandemic started in March, the singer has kept a very low profile. Lucky for me and all of his fans, he agreed to have a quick chat over Zoom. My name is Justin Adler, and here’s my conversation with the best looking Jonas: 

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Adler: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Nicholas. 

Nick: Yeah, same.

Adler: Though I feel like I know you already… people mistake me for you all the time. 

Nick: [laughs] Yeah? 

Adler: It’s probably the hair… we both have baby soft hair… and a strong jawline… And of course we’re both incredibly attractive…

Nick: [laughs] right.

Adler: So I can’t blame the ladies… it’s not their fault…. But it’s also not my fault that they make a mistake. Some even cry, you know?… When they realize I’m not actually you…  And somehow I’m the insensitive one because I don’t care that they’re snorting in front of me and walk away… 

Nick: They really cry?

Adler: … But I don’t know these ladies… and I’m usually on my way to places. I don’t have time to calm a stranger down. Call a friend for that. Call your mother. Better yet, call a shrink.  

Nick: What can I say? I have the best, most loyal fans…and I’m grateful for every single one of them.

Adler: They can’t even recognize you in public properly. 

Nick: [laughs]

Adler: Anyway, how’s it going? How’s Priyanka?

Nick: She’s good. We are both good… neither one of us has been out much because of the pandemic… 

Adler: Is this the longest time you’ve spent together… in the same house… displaying all of your flaws and imperfections to each other day-and-night?

Nick: [laughs] Absolutely. But you know what? We really like each other… like, we don’t just love each other… we—

Adler: My mother always says that love fades after smelling the 10,000 fart from your spouse…

Nick: [laughs super hard] I hope that’s not true. 

Adler: It’s definitely not true. My dad passed the 10,000 fart mark after their first two weeks of marriage and they’re still together. [pauses] Though she doesn’t always like him very much.

Nick: [laughs]

Adler: Your older brother, Joe, just had a baby, Willow… [checks notes] Willa Jonas. Did he consult you before deciding to become a father? 

Nick: N….. no. He didn’t need to…  he’s kind of his own man when it comes to procreating with his wife. 

Adler: Is that common in your family?

Nick: [laughs] Pretty much.

Adler: Have you gone over to their place to meet the baby? Or have they visited you with the baby? Let me rephrase that. Have you met the baby? 

Nick: Yes. Pri and I went over to their place about two weeks after they were back from the hospital. 

Adler: Two weeks?!

Nick: Yeah… we were being cautious because of Covid …

[Silence]

Adler: Well, thanks for talking to me, Nicholas. It’s always a pleasure to talk to someone who looks so much like me. Take care.

[Adler goes offline].

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Read more from Mock Diaries:

—Interview: Prince Harry Reveals what Meghan Markle, Prince Charles and Prince William Gave Him for His 36th Birthday

—Chrissy Teigen Shared the Crazy Romantic Letter John Legend Gave Her on Their Anniversary

—Interview: Brad Pitt Talks About His New Girlfriend Nicole Poturalski for the First Time

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