Interview: George Clooney Opens Up About Being Married to Amal, Their Twins and All Being Stuck in Quarantine

George and Amal Clooney have joined the many celebrities who have donated a large amount of money to fight the coronavirus. I was able to convince him to have a quick interview with me about the donation, his marriage and how he’s been dealing with being stuck inside with the fam.

Bea: Hi George. Thanks for agreeing to do this with me.

George: Of course.

Bea: Are you absolutely sure I need to stay in the middle of the street for this? If you let me in, we wouldn’t have to yell so much. 

George: I’m sure. 

Bea: How are you and Amal doing?

George: We’re both good. In quarantine like everyone else.

Bea: Inequality? 

George: IN QUARANTINE. 

Bea: Oh, yeah. Me too!

[Silence]

Bea: I heard that you donated $1 million dollars to COVID-19 relief. That’s generous of you, George. 

George: Yes, well, we believe it’s important to help as much as we can. 

Bea: Holy cow, it’s raining! 

George: What did you say?

Bea: I’M GETTING WET, GEORGE.

George: Oh no. Don’t worry. I’ll toss you an umbrella. 

Bea: What??

[George tosses the umbrella and it hits me in the head.]

Bea: OUCH. 

George: Are you okay??

Bea: What was that??

George: An umbrella. For the rain.

[I open the umbrella]

Bea: Thanks. 

George: Of course!

Bea: How are the twins? Are they identical?

George: Pretty much, yeah. Except that the boy has a penis. 

Bea [struggling with the umbrella]: That’s great. 

George: Yes. [Pauses] He’s lucky that way.

Bea: Listen, George, I think I’m going to go.

George: Are you sure?

Bea: Yeah. I don’t think your umbrella works. 

George: What?

[I wave goodbye and I take his umbrella with me. I’m going to sell it on e-Bay. Someone is gonna want to pay good money for George Cloone’s fucking umbrella.]

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