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The monarch spent her 94th birthday privately at Windsor Castle with her husband Prince Philip. I called around 7 o’clock to talk about her big day and her family.

Lisa: Hello, Your Royal Highness. It’s a pleasure to be speaking with you, my name is Lisa.

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Queen Elizabeth: Hello? Who am I speaking to?

Lisa: My name is Lisa, Your Royal Highness.

Queen Elizabeth: Hello, Theresa. 

Lisa: Close enough… 

[Silence]

Lisa: It’s an honor to be speaking with you on your 94th birthday. Happy Birthday!

Queen Elizabeth: Thank you, dear. 

Lisa: I know that with everything that’s going on in the world it’s been a difficult birthday, but have you had a good day?

Queen Elizabeth: Yes. Today is my birthday.

Lisa: Oh, dear….

Queen Elizabeth: What’s that?

Lisa: HAS IT BEEN A GOOD BIRTHDAY?

Queen Elizabeth: Yes, yes. My entire family has called to congratulate me.

Lisa: I’m happy to hear that. Family is important.

Queen Elizabeth: Yes. Even my grandson Harry and his wife Meghan called to say hello.

Lisa: How are those lovebirds doing? 

Queen Elizabeth: They’re chatty. They spoke to me for an hour, it was very tiring. 

Lisa: Did you not enjoy their call?

Queen Elizabeth: They went on and on about their baby. And then they wanted me to talk to the baby, and for the baby to talk to me, but the baby didn’t say anything…

Lisa: It’s so irritating when infants don’t follow instructions…

Queen Elizabeth: You are absolutely correct. I wanted to leave the call but instead I patiently waited until they got tired and said goodbye.

Lisa: You are a smart woman, Your Royal Highness.

Queen Elizabeth: You don’t get to be my age without learning a thing or two about how to handle awkward situations.

Lisa: I can only imagine. Who else did you speak with? Did your son Prince Charles and his wife call?

Queen Elizabeth: Yes. They phoned me right after Harry and Meghan.

Lisa: What did they say?

Queen Elizabeth: Nothing. I didn’t pick up.

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