Beyonce turned 39 on September 4 and to celebrate, Jay-Z and their kids rented a yacht in Croatia that costs $2 million a week and happens to be longer than a football field. I had the pleasure of talking to her on Zoom to chat about love, life and what she got for her birthday.
Lisa: Hello?
Beyonce: Hi, Lisa.
Lisa: Oh, hi Beyonce… I was afraid we wouldn’t be able to connect… Your manager said you’re on a boat right now.
Beyonce: Yeah, I—
Lisa: I can’t believe boats have wifi… then again you’re probably not on a regular boat right? Are you’re on one of those huge fancy yachts that even have a bed and a tv?
Beyonce: [laughs] Something like that, yeah.
Lisa: I actually went on an incredible cruise once, with my family…. Worst two weeks of my life… I threw up every day… sometimes multiple times a day.
Beyonce: Oh no, did you get seasick?
Lisa: No no. I drank too much… which is rare for me. I usually never drink ‘cause I’m allergic to alcohol…. but let’s be honest, there wasn’t a lot to do on that cruise.
Beyonce: [laughs]
Lisa: Holly molly, what is that thing behind you?
Beyonce: The couch?
Lisa: No… I may not be as fancy as you, Beyo, but I know a couch when I see one. I mean the thing behind the couch….
Beyonce: [laughs] Oh, that’s just a sculpture.
Lisa: I thought so… I’m a bit of an artist so I can spot art even with my eyes closed… well, not so much with my eyes closed… unless I touch it, but you’re not supposed to touch art. Unless you own it. And even then, it’s best if you just don’t…
Beyonce: I… I get it.
Lisa: Of course you do. Because you are one of the most talented artists of our time… not to mention completely breathtaking… do people often comment on how smooth your skin looks?
Beyonce: [laughs] Thank you. Not really… not as much as I would like them to, anyway [laughs again].
Lisa: That’s a shame…. people say it to me all the time. I really do have incredible skin.
Beyonce: [smiles]
Lisa: Is there a special reason you’re on vacation right now? Or is going on luxurious yachts a thing you do on the regular? It is, isn’t it? I forgot who I’m speaking with.
Beyonce: [laughs] We are here to celebrate my birthday…. I turned 39 last week.
Lisa: Thirty-nine? You look sooo much younger than that…. I thought for sure you were 37. And a half.
Beyonce: [laughs] Nope.
Lisa: Did your husband give you anything special for your birthday? And by special I mean frisky. [winks at Beyonce, or tries to, anyway]
Beyonce: [laughs] Well… he paid for this vacation… he paid for the yacht. And he gave me a beautiful sapphire necklace… Look. [shows Lisa the necklace]
Lisa: Sapphire is your birthstone, right? Because you were born in September…
Beyonce: That’s right… [smiles]
Lisa: Well, tell him I approve… He did good… this time. [winks at Beyonce again]
Beyonce: [laughs] I will let him know.
Lisa: Well… I don’t want to leave you but your face has been moving with the movement of the waves this entire time… and it’s making me feel terribly nauseous. I’m afraid I’m going to have to stop this delightful conversation right here.
Beyonce: Oh, please. Go. I’m so sorry about—
[Lisa goes offline.]
.
Read more from Mock Diaries:
—Interview: Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Open Up About the True Reasons They Decided to End KUWTK
—Interview: Brad Pitt Talks About His New Girlfriend Nicole Poturalski for the First Time
