I had the pleasure of having a Zoom chat with Sofia Vergara about America’s Got Talent and their fishy price, something scary that happened at home and her underwear.
Lisa: Hi Sofia.
Sofia: Hi.
Lisa: I couldn’t hear you… what did you say?
Sofia: I said hi.
Lisa: You’re high? I am too. With endorphins… I just finished my 3-minute workout, it always does the trick.
Sofia: [laughs] I’m definitely not high… I was just saying hello.
Lisa: Oh [laughs]. My bad… It was a bit odd that you would choose to start a conversation by saying that… but I try not to judge.
Sofia: [laughs]
Lisa: How are you? I heard some crazy person broke into your house last week. Is everyone okay?
Sofia: Oh yeah, everyone’s fine. He wasn’t actually in the house…. We live in a gated community and he managed to make his way into it, but he was caught before he could do any damage…
Lisa: That’s exactly why I signed myself up for neighborhood watch training… But then I found out they train at 7 at night, and I like to watch Disney+ at that time… so I had no choice but to drop out.
Sofia: [laughs]
Lisa: I like that show they have about penguins…. Did you know that they have white bellies so they can blend with the snow? They’re kooky creatures…
Sofia: I haven’t had a lot of time to watch anything… but the season of America’s Got Talent is over now so maybe I’ll watch it…
Lisa: I hope you like penguins because they talk a lot about them…. Anyway, is it true that the winners of your show don’t actually receive the promised price of $1 million?
Sofia: They do…. but they receive it in payouts over 40 years.
Lisa: Forty years?! What if they don’t make it that long? What if they promised the neighbour’s kid they would pay for college but now the little kid has to wait 40 years to go…?
Sofia: I…. I don’t know. Both good questions though.
Lisa: Listen, before I let you go back to your day…. I heard that you own a company that sells underwear…. well, it’s not so much that I heard it, because who would I’ve heard that from… none of my peeps hang out with your peeps. But I read it somewhere.
Sofia: Yes, EBY…. the best underwear you’ll ever wear in your life.
Lisa: That’s what it says on the website…. the problem is that I bought the wrong size.
Sofia: What size did you buy?
Lisa: I rather not say… but let’s just say I overestimated how much weight I thought I’d lost during quarantine. So they’re a bit tight.
Sofia: I’m sorry to hear that [laughs].
Lisa: Anyway, I thought maybe you’d want to know. For market research and that kind of stuff…
Sofia: [laughs] Well, thank you.
Lisa: Anytime. And thanks for doing this with me. It was lovely meeting you.
Sofia: You too.
[They both go offline.]
.
Read more from Mock Diaries:
—Chrissy Teigen Shared the Crazy Romantic Letter John Legend Gave Her on Their Anniversary
—Interview: Emma Stone Finally Addresses Those Marriage Rumors and Gives Details of How It Happened
