Queen Elizabeth II is a very busy woman. But since Covid, she’s had some free time and I was able to have an insightful conversation with her about what’s going on with the world, but mostly the royals.
Bea: Thanks for doing this with me, Your Majesty.
Queen Elizabeth: [nods]
Bea: I really like how your hair looks today…. It’s very poofy.
Queen Elizabeth: [silence]
Bea: Not just today, actually… your hair is probably the envy of all grannies…
Queen Elizabeth: [silence]
Bea: … and some men.
Queen Elizabeth: [silence]
Bea: But you probably get that compliment all the time, am I right?
Queen Elizabeth: [faintly smiles]
Bea: Anyway… with the year we’ve all had, I’m happy to see you’re still with us.
Queen Elizabeth: [silence]
Bea: And your son, Charles! Can you believe he had COVID?
Queen Elizabeth: He is in good health now.
Bea: I know but… close call.
Queen Elizabeth: [silence]
Bea: Do you think he’ll make a good King someday?
Queen Elizabeth: [silence]
Bea: I know he’s your offspring and you probably shouldn’t say… so just blink once for ‘no’.
Queen Elizabeth: [silence]
Bea: Ha! … I knew it.
Queen Elizabeth: [silence]
Bea: Don’t feel bad… I’m sure he has other gifts.
Queen Elizabeth: [silence]
Bea: And that whole thing with Camilla… uff… I mean, you’ve seen The Crown… you know the deal.
Queen Elizabeth: The Crown is heavily dramatized.
Bea: Right… Of course… A dramatization of true events.
Queen Elizabeth: [silence]
Bea: How do you feel about Harry working for Netflix now?
Queen Elizabeth: [silence]
Bea: It’s probably a bittersweet feeling for you, right? On the one hand… you must be proud that he’s making a living… and on the other you wish he had never met his wife.
Queen Elizabeth: [silence]
Bea: They’re also getting their own podcast… did you hear about that?
Queen Elizabeth: Who is?
Bea: You’re right. It’s probably best to forget about them… They’re never coming back.
Queen Elizabeth: [silence]
Bea: At least there’s William, right? He’s a good one… A bit bland… Tell me something, has he considered getting hair implants?
Queen Elizabeth: [silence]
Bea: Something tells me Kate would like that.
Queen Elizabeth: [silence]
Bea: Well, thanks for doing this with me, Your Majesty… I had a blast!
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Other things you might like from Mock Diaries:
—Members of the Royal Family Opened Up About what they Honestly Think About The Crown
—Interview: Kanye West Opens Up About the Shock of Losing the Presidential Election
