I had a video call with Kim Kardashian to talk about the new season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians and how the show is being filmed during quarantine, but once we started talking the conversation took a turn:
Bea: Hi Kim.
Kim: Hi.
Bea: Uhh… I can’t see you.
Kim: I know. The lights are off.
Bea: What the— Can you turn them on?
Kim: No, I can’t. I’m in a closet.
Bea: Why…?
Kim: I’m hiding from my four kids and Kanye.
Bea: Speak up, I can’t hear you.
Kim: (whispering) I can’t speak louder than I already am.
Bea: How are we supposed to—
Kim: (whispering) shhhhhhh, be quiet!
Kanye West: Kim?… KIM?!?
Kim: (moving her mouth but barely making any sound) HE. IS. OUT. THERE.
North West to Kanye: Daddy, where’s mommy?
Kanye to North West: I don’t know. I’ve been looking for her for five hours.
North: [screaming] MOMMY? Mommy, where are you? I need your help with my boat.
Bea: Five hours?! Kim, have you been in that closet for that long?
Kim: Shhhhhh!!!! You’re gonna get me caught.
Kanye West: Babe… I really want to show you something AMAZING!
Kim: He’s been showing me amazing things for 8 weeks. I can’t look at them anymore. They’re not as ‘amazing’ as he thinks.
Bea: Things like what?
Kim: [whispering] The other day he made a pile of garbage… with actual garbage, on our bedroom floor. I could see my tampons in the pile!
Bea: Oh, dear.
Kim: He said it was ‘quarantine art.’ And last week he thought it would be ‘artistic’ to put vaseline on the kid’s hair.
Bea: Was it?
Kim: It took me THREE DAYS to get the vaseline out of the girl’s hair. The boys… I just shaved their hair off and now their heads look extra shiny.
Bea: Well, there’s your silver lining.
Kim: I cried for 2.5 hours straight last night while we were all eating dinner. No one asked me if I was alright.
Bea: No one?
Kim: NO. ONE. They just talked louder so they could hear each other over my desperation.
Bea: Sounds rough…
Kim: I can’t wait for them to get old and leave my house…
Bea: What about Kanye?
[Kanye opens the closet door where Kim is hiding.]
Kanye to Kim: There you are! You’ve gotta come see what I made with all your tears from last night.
Read more interviews by Bea:
—David Beckham Shares the Ingenious Way He Celebrated His Birthday During Quarantine
—Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn Open Up About Quarantining Together in First Joint Interview
—Taylor Swift and Kim Kardashian Sit Together to Discuss Their Feud and Things Get Out of Control
