This morning, Joan Wright —editor of mockdiaries.com— asked me if I could take over her interview with Jennifer Lopez as she was leaving the office to meet with a celebrity manager. “It’s at 11:00 am, via Skype. She’s gonna call you. Do NOT call her,” she warned me. “Amazing,” I said. But what I should’ve said is “What am I interviewing her about?”
“I got something”, Elena —another one of the writers— said to me, while helping me figure out what I should ask Jennifer. “She and Alex Rodriguez were spotted househunting yesterday.”
“So?” I replied.
“You can ask her about that,” she said.
“No one cares that she went househunting,” I said to Elena, who then got upset and said that if I don’t like her ideas I shouldn’t ask for her help.
I would’ve apologized, but it was three minutes before Jennifer was supposed to call and I still had no clue what I was gonna ask her.
Then she appeared on my screen:
Jennifer: Hii!
Bea: Oh… hi!
Who calls three minutes before time?? That’s barbaric.
Bea: Uh, thanks for doing this with me.
I hung up and anxiously googled her name one more time before she called back.
Jennifer: Hi again.
Bea: We got disconnected, sorry!
Jennifer: That’s alright. It happens.
Bea: How are you?
Jennifer: I’m good! Enjoying the nice weather and …. uh… relaxing. I just finished my daily workout, actually.
Bea: Oh. So you haven’t showered yet?
Jennifer: No… I mean, yes! I showered right after.
Bea: Right, of course you did. Did you wash your hair?
Jennifer: Uhh…yes.
Bea: How often do you wash your hair?
Jennifer: I don’t know… every other day, I guess, depending on how greasy it gets…
Mother of god, can this get any duller?
Bea: So, I heard that you and Alex are looking to buy a new house?
Jennifer: No no. We are only thinking of renting a house for the summer. Something maybe in Malibu….
Bea: I love Malibu!
Jennifer: Right? Us too. I think the kids would really enjoy themselves there.
Bea: Absolutely! I would too. If I could afford it.
Jennifer: [Silence]
Bea: Maybe you should invite me over… once you rent the house, obviously.
Jennifer: [awkward laugh]
Bea: Seriously. I’d love to go.
Jennifer: Uh.. ok.
Bea: Great!! I’ll let my boyfriend know! I’m assuming it’s okay to bring a plus-one, right?
Jennifer: [Silence]
Bea: Speaking of boyfriends, how’s Alex? Is he upset that you are not getting married this summer because of covid?
Jennifer: A little… we’re both a little heartbroken about it, to be honest. But we just have to trust that God has a bigger plan for us.
Bea: You mean like… calling you to become a nun or something?
Jennifer: What? No! For the wedding.
Bea: Gotcha.
Jennifer: [Silence]
Bea: Well, thanks for doing this with me, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Yeah, alright.
We hung up.
“And?” Elena asked me later in the day. “How did it go with JLo?”
“Amazing”, I said. “She invited me over to her new house in Malibu!!!”
“Seriously?!” she asked surprised.
I nodded and went to the bathroom. I didn’t want her to invite herself and then have to text Jennifer I was bringing a second plus-one.
Read more interviews by Bea:
—Kelly Clarkson and Brandon Blackstock Open Up About the Reason They Decided to Divorce
—Prince Philip Opens Up About Being Almost 100 Years Old, Literally
