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It’s been a big week for Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. The couple moved to Los Angeles and Meghan got a new job with Disney. I reached out to the Duchess so she could update me on everything—but as she and Harry remain in quarantine like the rest of the responsible people in America, the interview was done over the phone.

Bea: Hi Meghan. Thanks for doing this with me. 

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Meghan: Of course.

Bea: I heard that you are back in LA. Welcome back! 

Meghan: Yes! We moved here a few days ago before the borders closed. We were lucky to still find flights here.

Bea: I doubt it was luck. Prince Harry can snap his chubby fingers and make anyone lick their own elbow if he wants. I’m sure it wasn’t hard for him to get tickets to the U.S.

Meghan: [Silence] He doesn’t have chubby fingers.

Bea: You must be thrilled to be close to your mother and your friends though.

Meghan: Yes! My mom is one of the main reasons why we chose to come back to LA. I really want Archie to be around her as much as possible. 

Bea: Who’s Archie?

Meghan: My son. 

Bea: That’s a weird name. The only Archie I know is from the comic books.

Meghan: [silence]

Bea: Hahaha and he’s a redhead too! 

Meghan: Anyway, being in LA is good for us so we’re very happy to be here.

Bea: Good good. Any plans on having a second child?

Meghan: We want to get firmly settled down first, but yes, we definitely want to give Archie a baby brother or sister. 

Bea: Well, happy humping!

Meghan: [Silence]

Bea: So now that you are no longer obliged to be an obedient housewife because of “royal protocol”, what are you going to do now?

Meghan: I narrated a documentary about elephants for Disney+. That’s coming out soon!

Bea: What’s it called?

Meghan: Elephants.

Bea: No, seriously. What’s it called?

Meghan: [Silence]

Bea: Okay… and besides that? 

Meghan: I’m thinking of writing a cookbook.

Bea: You know how to cook?

Meghan: Yes… obviously.

Bea: What about your old fashion and lifestyle blog—are you relaunching that?

Meghan: I want to, but I’m not sure yet. Maybe someday…

Bea: I hope you do because it was really good.

Meghan: Aww really, you liked it? 

Bea: It’s just what people say, Meghan. Please don’t make this awkward. 

Read More Hilarius Interviews:

—Queen Elizabeth Opens Up About How She Truly Feels About Harry Stepping Down From Royal Duties

—Kate Middleton Talks About What Her Life Has Been Like Since Harry and Meghan Moved to Canada

—Ryan Reynolds Shares His Tips on How to Survive Self-Isolation

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