Ashley Benson and Cara Delevingne broke up after nearly 2 years together. Interviewer Lisa Martin was not aware of this fact when she went over to Ashley’s house to interview her about a new project.
[Ashley opens the door.]
Lisa: Hi Ashley Benson.
Ashley: Uh… who are you?
Lisa: Sorry, I’m Lisa. I’m here to do the interview with—holy moses, what’s that smell?
Ashley: [sniffs] I don’t smell anything…
Lisa: It smells like… *sniff, sniff* chicken feces.
Ashley: What? I don’t know what that smells like…
Lisa: You’re lucky. My uncle had a farm so I’m way too familiar with that smell. He sometimes cooked the feces and fed them to the cows. He was bipolar. Not that it matters, but it sort of explains what he did to the cows.
Ashley: Sure, okay… Can we do this later? This isn’t a good time for me.
Lisa: No can do, friend. I need to publish this tonight.
[I let myself in the house.]
Lisa: Where’s all your furniture?! Were you robbed?!
Ashley: If by ‘robbed’ you mean I had my heart ripped out of my chest and dropped from a 40 story building and peed on by the grossest dog on the block… then yeah, I was ‘robbed.’
Lisa: What?! You were peed on? By a gross dog?
Ashley: It’s a metaphor! My girlfriend broke up with me… and she took most of the furniture with her.
Lisa: Oh thank god.
Ashley: Excuse me?!
Lisa: I just mean… being dumped is better than being peed on by a gross dog.
[Silence]
Lisa: So where should I sit?
Ashley: You can sit on the floor, where my heart is.
Lisa: Oh man, you’re gonna keep making weird references to your heartache, aren’t you?
Ashley: We were together for 2 years. We were happy. We were having the time of our lives and then one morning, she woke up and said this wasn’t working for her. And she ripped my heart out and—
Lisa: And gave it to a dirty dog. I got that part.
Ashley: I haven’t showered… I cry myself to sleep every night… I haven’t even left the house in weeks…
Lisa: That’s like everyone right now. We’re in the middle of a pandemic.
Ashley: I just miss her so much [starts crying]. I don’t know what I did wrong.
Lisa: [silence]
Lisa: Well, we just met… but if I had to guess… probably the lack of shower. And I bet the obsession with dirty dogs didn’t help.
More interviews by Lisa Martin:
—Lili Reinhart Opens Up About Her Relationship with Cole Sprouse and the Cheating Rumors
