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Megan Fox has been in the news a lot lately, so Joan, my editor, asked me to set up an interview with the actress to talk about everything that’s been going on in her life. Megan graciously agreed to meet me this morning at a coffee shop close to where she lives. No one cared that it was super far from where I live. 

She arrived a few minutes late, with her entire management team with her. I was there on time. I went by myself. 

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Bea: Thanks for doing this with me, Megan.

Megan: Yeah, no problem!

Bea: I had a lot of questions prepared for today but your manager just told me not to ask about your failed marriage so there goes 50 of my questions… 

Megan: [Silence]

Bea: She also told me not to talk about your new romance with the rapper… uhh…. Gun Control—

Megan: Machine Gun Kelly.

Bea: Sorry? 

Megan: Machine Gun Kelly—that’s my boyfriend’s name…

Bea: Right…. Well, I’m not supposed to ask about him either, or refer to him as your “boyfriend”, or your “boy toy” or your “rebound guy” or your “friends-with-benefits” or—

Megan: I get it!

[Silence]

Bea: I’m also not supposed to ask about your three sons because “that would involve talking about Brian,” and according to your manager “that’s personal”, and “Megan is here to talk about work, so DO NOT ask about her private life. It’s a disaster right now.”

Megan: Excuse me?

Bea: I also thought it was a little harsh… she seems to be in a mood. 

Megan: And it’s also very far from the truth. For the first time in a very long time I feel like myself again, and I’m happy and free and enjoying getting to know a wonderful person. 

Bea: Machine Gun Kimberley? Really?

Megan: Kelly! Machine Gun Kelly! Just call him Colson, that’s his real name.

Bea: [Silence]

Megan: And yes, really. He’s…. incredible. I’ve never met anyone like him before and he makes me want to be a better person. Isn’t that what being in love is all about?

[Silence]

Bea: I’m really not supposed to ask about him. And normally I would ask anyway, but your manager seems really scary….

Megan: She does, doesn’t she?

Bea: She hasn’t taken her eyes off of me this entire time… not even when she went to the bathroom. Both times. 

Megan: Did she not close the door?

Bea: Nope.

Megan: I don’t know why she does that….

[Silence]

Bea: Anyway, I was also instructed not to mention anything about your appearance, or ask about your workout routine, or your diet, because apparently those kinds of questions are frowned upon in 2020.

[Silence]

Bea: So what do you think of this weather? 

Read more interviews by Bea:

—Melania Trump Opens Up About Her Relationship with Donald, and What It’s Been Like Living in the White House

—Jimmy Kimmel Opens Up About the Real Reason He’s Taking a Break from His Show

—Prince Philip Opens Up About Being Almost 100 Years Old, Literally

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