Kanye West spoke out in an interview with Forbes about his choice for Vice President: a 57-year-old woman named Michelle Tidball who describes herself as a “biblical life coach.” Every media outlet is trying to get in touch with this lady, but no one’s had any luck… until now.
I went over to her house and politely asked if she could let me use her bathroom. She said NO. So then I asked: “what would Jesus do?”. That led to a 15-minute discussion about whether or not Jesus would let a stranger pee in his home when they could perfectly do it outside, but eventually, she let me in.
Bea: Thank you for agreeing to speak with me.
Michelle: You said you wouldn’t leave my property until I did…
Bea: Let’s start from the beginning. How do you know Kanye West?
Michelle: Kenny? We met at a supermarket here in Wyoming…
Bea: Mm-hmm.
Michelle: We were both looking for Sour Skittles…cause they’re delicious. And he just started talking… for like 53 minutes… I wasn’t even sure he was really talking to me, but I didn’t want to just leave, in case he was.
Bea: Sounds about right.
Michelle: He’s so sweet. God bless him.
Bea: Uh-huh. So did you guys talk about running for office together… or how did he end up choosing you as his running mate?
Michelle: Kenny and I talk all the time… at least once every three months. We have very similar beliefs… that’s probably why.
Bea: Like what…?
Michelle: Well… we both really believe in God…. like really REALLY…. and we both like living in Wyoming… and neither of us watches the news.
Bea: Oh. You don’t watch the news?
Michelle: God no. Never. They’re depressing. It’s all drama, drama, drama.
Bea: … I hear what you’re saying.
Michelle: I’m a Certified Professional Coach, and I always say to my clients “Don’t be bad.”
Bea: They’re lucky to have you…
Michelle: Damn right they are. Excuse my french.
Bea: So… what exactly qualifies you to be running for VP? What do you bring to the table?
Michelle: I have a lot of experience as a Life Coach… I’ve been assisting numerous individuals in shifting their lives for over 10 years!
Bea: Really…? How many individuals are we talking about?
Michelle: At least 3…. Four, if you count my cousin Bertha. But she lost her eyebrows recently … she was cooking… it’s not pretty.
Bea: I hear ya… and I’m sorry about Bertha’s eyebrows… I hope they grow back… but that still doesn’t explain …. what I mean is… you don’t seem qualified to run for … well, anything, really.
Michelle: Was Jesus qualified to save the world? Was he believed he was special?
Bea: Uh—
Michelle: No. He wasn’t. But he was… And so am I…. and so is Kenny… he’s such a sweetheart.
Bea: When you say “Kenny” you mean “Kanye West”, right?
Michelle: Of course. Kenny is just how he likes it that I call him…
Bea: … Gotcha.
Michelle: [Silence]
Bea: Well… thanks for letting me pee in your bathroom… I think I’m ready to go now.
Michelle: No problem…. Take some cookies if you want. I made them last month but they should still be good…
I actually did take some cookies. She was wrong. They weren’t good.
Read more interviews by Bea:
—What the VIP in Hollywood REALLY Think of Kanye West Running for President
—Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Sit Down For Their First Interview Together Since Their Divorce
—Leonardo Dicaprio Opens Up About His Intense Love Life for the First Time in Years
