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Princess Beatrice, daughter of Prince Andrew, got married to Edo Mapelli Mozzi yesterday in a beautiful ceremony at Windsor Chapel. Or so she says anyway. I wasn’t there. I was, however, invited to a small get together the day after she allegedly got married. 

Bea: It’s an honor to meet you, Beatrice.

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Beatrice: Likewise.

Bea: I hear congratulations are in order … you finally got married!

Beatrice: Yes… Edu and I wedded yesterday morning. 

Bea: How does it feel to be a married lady?

Beatrice: I literally feel like I’m walking on air right now.

Bea: It’s too bad it’s filthy…. with coronavirus.

Beatrice: Yes, well, we’re not letting that affect our happy moment.

Bea: Good for you! Life must go on… and if someone drops dead in the process, well, no wedding is perfect. 

Beatrice: [Silence]

Bea: I read the Queen was one of the very few guests that were there. It was nice of her to stop by… 

Beatrice: Yes, we chose July 17th as our wedding day so my grandmother could be there. It was all about her schedule… 

Bea: Didn’t she leave super early? 

Beatrice: Yes. 

Bea: Was it because your creepy dad was also there?

Beatrice: [Silence]

Bea: Were you upset? Did you tell her it was rude to leave a wedding with so little guests?

Beatrice: No. She had a good excuse… she left for Captain Tom Moore’s knighthood ceremony.

Bea: So she double-booked… I’d be furious.

Beatrice: [Silence]

Bea: Though I know it’s almost impossible to stay mad at her… I’ve interviewed her a few times and she is such a cutie patootie. 

Beatrice: [Silence]

Bea: Let me ask you something, did you invite your ex-boyfriends to your wedding, like Prince William and Harry did when they got married?

Beatrice: I—

Bea: That’s so weird, isn’t it? To have guests at your wedding who’ve seen you naked. 

Beatrice: I did invite my ex-boyfriend.

Bea: Oh, nice…. Just one?

Beatrice: Just Dave Clarke… He and I were together for 10 years so we’re like family at this point.

Bea: Right, right, right… He’s the one who you gave an ultimatum to propose or leave… and he chose to leave you, right? And then he married someone else right after…. Did he bring his wife?

Beatrice: Yes. His wife was there too. 

Bea: Sounds like it was a fun wedding. 

Read more interviews by Bea:

—Joe Jonas Talks About What He and Sophie Have Planned for the Birth of Their Baby

—Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Sit Down For Their First Interview Together Since Their Divorce

—Queen Elizabeth II Opens Up About Her Relationship with Her Husband Prince Philip

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