It’s Keanu Reeves 56th birthday today and I had the absolute pleasure of speaking with him about life and the special lady that is keeping him company during these weird times. Here’s everything that happened:
Lisa: OMG. Is it you? Of course it’s you! Can I touch you to make sure it’s you? Or is that inappropriate? It’s inappropriate, isn’t it? I just can’t believe I’m meeting you in real life…
Keanu: I really hope you are talking about me… wouldn’t want to disappoint.
Lisa: OMG you should not talk. I can’t handle it.
Keanu: [laughs] How are we going to do this if I can’t talk?
Lisa: [takes a deep breath] [exhales]
Keanu: Are you okay?
Lisa: Yes, I’m okay…. I’m better than okay. I’m talking to Keanu Reeves!
Keanu: He is pretty great…
Lisa: [laughs] Of course he is… there’s a reason why his first name means “cool breeze over the mountains”… And you know that that’s not an easy name to pull off.
Keanu: No, it is not. [laughs]
Lisa: And he’s funny too, OMG. [to herself:] Remember your training.
Keanu: [silence]
Lisa: [breaths in and out] I’m ready to start now …. I just won’t look directly in your eye. Neither of your eyes.
Keanu: I can live with that.
Lisa: Alright. I should start by saying that I know it’s your birthday… but I didn’t get you anything, because I couldn’t decide what to get you.
Keanu: That’s okay. I actually prefer it when strangers don’t get me anything.
Lisa: Why? I like it, but I must admit, it doesn’t happen often… Unless you count Lenny, the homeless guy that lives in my neighborhood. He’s very friendly and is always offering me food. I don’t take it, but I still appreciate the gesture… Though I guess he’s more of an acquaintance at this point.
Keanu: Well, you do know his name so….
Lisa: Oh, everyone in the area knows Lenny’s name.
Keanu: I understand, but it’s a little different for me because I’m in the public eye… I’ve actually been in situations where people have felt they had a relationship with me and I didn’t even know who they were.
Lisa: Oh, imagine how sad it was for them to think they had a meaningful relationship with you and then you act like you don’t even know them.
Keanu: I think it’s still a little scarier for me than it is for them. But yes, I guess you have a point that I’d never considered before.
Lisa: Don’t blame yourself. I have a psychology degree from the Online University of Hawarts, so I obviously know a lot.
Kenau: [smiles]
Lisa: How does Alexandra handle the sexual attention… and the asexual too— those guys don’t get enough mentions— that you get from your fans?
Keanu: Oh, she could not care any less. She.. we… are both very private people and we’re both artists so most of the time we are in our own heads anyway.
Lisa: Ok. Well, I promised your publicist I would only ask one thing about Alexandra… and that was it so…
Keanu: [smiles]
Lisa: [nods] Thanks for meeting me, Keanu. And again, happy birthday.
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Read more from Mock Diaries:
—Interview: Zendaya Talks About Her 24th Birthday and Boyfriend Jacob Elordi
—Katy Perry Shared the Text Messages She Received From Her Famous Friends After Giving Birth
