Today is Prince Harry’s 36th birthday and he was generous enough to agree to talk to me about life, presents, and what he’s hoping for this new year of his life. My name is Justin Adler, and this is my conversation with the Prince:
Adler: Thank you for coming, Harry.
Harry: My pleasure.
Adler: I mean, I wish you’d picked a place to meet that wasn’t two and a half hours away from where I live, but I still appreciate this… I took six buses to be here today. Still, I’m thankful for the opportunity to meet a real-life Prince. You are still a Prince, right?
Harry: [laughs] Yes. Still a Prince. That’s a birthright.
Adler: Okay, good. ‘Cause as I said… six buses. [long pause] My apologies, you probably don’t even know what a bus is. It’s basically a long car that people with no boundaries use to get places.
Harry: [chuckles]
Adler: By the way… I baked you a small carrot cake for your birthday… I don’t usually bake sweets for strangers but I thought I’d make an exception for a member of the royal family. Anyway, I left it on one of the buses. Unintentionally.
Harry: Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.
Adler: No more than me. I spent HOURS trying to get the frosting just right. I even wrote on the top ‘Happy Birthday, Prince’.
Harry: Well… I’m so sorry I don’t get to see it now.
Adler: Actually… do you care to see a picture? ‘Cause I have plenty.
Harry: Uhh…
[Adler takes his phone out of his pocket to show Harry pictures….]
Adler: This is me buying the eggs and the vanilla… Look how happy I look.
Harry: Lovely.
Adler: And here I am paying for the eggs… I must admit, I am very photogenic, don’t you agree?
Harry: Let’s just see a picture of the final product, shall we?
Adler: Oh, of course. Let me just find a good one.
[After six and a half minutes, Adler finally says…]
Adler: They’re all great pictures. I can’t seem to pick just one.
Harry: Oh for the—
Adler: HERE. This is a good one. Both I and the cake look amazing.
[Adler shows Harry a picture]
Harry: Looks good.
Adler: Right…? [looks at the picture again and smiles]
[Silence]
Adler: What did your wife give you for your birthday?
Harry: She … she actually made a very generous donation to a non-profit organization in my name.
Adler: Oh. So you didn’t get anything?
Harry: She also made me cottage pie….
Adler: Nice! [high fives Harry]
[Harry awkwardly high fives Adler back]
Adler: What about your dad and your brother? Did they give you any presents? ‘Cause they can afford to give you nice stuff….
Harry: No. But I did talk to them over Zoom… it was almost a 7-minute conversation…
Adler: That’s not long. Anyway, did you check your horoscope for your new year? I always do that on my birthday. I like to be prepared for what’s to come…
Harry: N…. no.
Adler: NO?! Don’t worry, I’ll get it for you and email it to you later…. you absolutely cannot start a new year without reading your horoscope. That’s simply barbaric.
Harry: That’s—
Adler: Oh glory be! Look at the time. I need to go if I want to catch my first bus back home…
[Adler gets up and leaves.]
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